I hate roller coasters… :(

The emotional ones I mean….I can go from having such a great day, and then boom!….something just triggers in me and makes me get so gloomy…why??? I really can’t stand questioning my feelings, it makes me feel a bit wacko talking to myself lol…

I think it has started since I was on vacation and I saw a fortune-teller who told me many things, which where true…and she told me that although I may act happy and tell everyone I was, that deep inside something was missing… she could see the sadness in me. She told me that I was a very strong woman, but I was falling apart inside.  I  have been looking for what I am missing, and I have no clue of what it is…it’s driving me bananas. But I do feel that something is missing…that I have lost something and I need to find it.

Am I afraid of failure? afraid of not being in control? afraid of letting go of the control? Stressed out?

I have always tried to be happy, and live a happy life. But lately I have been feeling….I don’t know, I really can’t explain it. Or maybe I do know, and I am just afraid to say it to myself. I complicate my life so much sometimes lol..I am here typing this, and reading it back…and laughing at it…lol…I think I just need to talk things out, and not think about things too much..I think a lot, everyday my mind is thinking of all the things I have to do. I think my mind needs a break. I need to focus on what is important to me, what matters the most. My family of course, they are what keeps me going.

❤ I look at them and smile 🙂

 

Breathe Oky…Breathe….I am not a little girl anymore, I can’t go running back to mommy and have her make things better. I am a Woman, a Mother, a Wife. I have to make it better. I can’t let anything bring me down, because I am what holds it together..but who holds me?……….. I think that is what I am missing.

My hubby holds me, he holds me a lot lol…but, I think I have to let him be more in control. I try to make things easy for him, specially when he gets home from work. But I think I have been making things way easy , way easy for him…I do too much, and that may be where my roller coaster of emotions comes from. I need to have a talk with him lol.

I am a in a roller coaster, being on a high and going straight down low….I need to get off this ride!

I always say, tomorrow is a new day. Think positive, and be strong! Eat a cookie!

2 thoughts on “I hate roller coasters… :(

  1. You most certainly need to speak up and voice your concerns,I understand what it means to make it easier for the husbands since they work long hours,etc while we stay home and take care of everything but staying at home is a heck of load and on top you are running a business so don’t wait any longer and have your talk,express your needs & expectations. I hope you can find some resolution to what is missing in your life. Hang in there! Kudos to you for taking care of your family and running a business. You are definitely an inspiration to me. 🙂

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